Go-Gurt

In first grade I was still the trouble maker I had been in kindergarten. Maybe even more so. My most vivid memory of first grade is the time that a friend and I blew up a Go-Gurt on the wall of our elementary school.

We were coming in from recess and noticed that in the little hallway between the exit and our classroom there was a Go-Gurt on the ground. Like any reasonable first grader, we decided it would be absolutely hilarious to step on it.

It squelched and we laughed. We thought we were geniuses. This was pure comedy. The funny sounds the yogurt packet  had made only egged us on and we continued to jump and step on it.

After numerous jumping assaults to the Go-Gurt we noticed that it had begun to leak a little.

We knew that if we continued to jump on it the Go-Gurt would burst and we'd get in trouble. There is nothing that fills a six-year-old with more fright that getting scolded by a teacher. That and an "I'm very disappointed in you" lecture from a parent. If the Go-Gurt exploded we very well could've gotten both. We decided to just have one more go at it, surely one more jump couldn't hurt.

Upon that final jump, the Go-Gurt exploded all over the wall of the hallway. We were mortified.

My ever-loyal friend ran and got our teacher to tell her that I had blown up a Go-Gurt. Me, and only me. No accomplices or other people. The mess of yogurt on the wall was solely my responsibility.

I was firmly scolded and given the punishment of staying in after lunch and helping clean up for a whole week. No recess for a whole entire week! Unimaginable. It was the cruelest of punishments and I regretted even looking at the Go-Gurt.

However if I was put in the same situation I think I would still jump on the Go-Gurt. My regrets didn't last very long.

Dog

I have a dog. Dog is a  2010 male yellow lab model with characteristic pink pads, nose, and skin. Dog is fully functioning, with mint condition hearing, smelling, and tasting. Listening and obeying commands is optional and must be manually learned.

Dog is pretty great. In March of 2010 Dog was just 10 weeks old and looked like this:

Dog grew a lot in the first two years of his life. Some photos of Dog from the early years:

Then Dog decided that he was done being little and Dog grew up, leaving his wild reckless days as a puppy behind him. 

Here we see Dog as a responsible adult, chewing a bone rather than a shoe or the couch. 

Here we see Dog lounging on a pool chair, taking it all in rather than being a psychotic furry pool bomb. 

And finally, we see Dog observing the small town of Cody, Wyoming, from the hotel balcony. Good job not jumping off the balcony, Dog. 

Dog is something of a free spirit. Dog also has a well developed sense of humor.

Here Dog shows off his flashy blue sunglasses. Dog isn't afraid to show the world his true colors.

Dog is also not camera shy. Dog is rather photogenic.

Six Word Memoirs

Someone told me I should do a six word memoir for a post. A six word memoir is a story told in six words. So because I'm an over achiever I made five of them.

  Too much chocolate is never enough.

                      

  March, you're not fooling me.

Tune out the world with music.

Dog is awesome, saves the day!

Most of the time family rocks. 

The Monster

I am going to attempt to include illustrations in this post. I am what I kindly call "artfully challenged" so please bear with me.

Kindergarten. The first step towards becoming a successful, open minded, independent individual that every school hopes to create. I remember next to nothing about kindergarten. I remember my teacher, a kind lady who also happened to live in my neighborhood. I also remember numerous visits to the office accompanied by phone calls home and a note describing what offense I had committed that time.

One day while I was in kindergarten, a perfectly sunny and wonderful morning sure to be full of story time, recess, and the alphabet, was shattered by the presence of a substitute teacher. Upon entering the classroom my friend and I instantly noticed the sub.

We were shocked and confused. Who is this mystery woman??, we thought. She was clearly a threat. Everything about her screamed DANGER! DANGER!
When class began she introduced herself.

Clearly, a threat. She had to be more than what she appeared. She was a vicious, child-eating monster. She had disposed of out regularly scheduled teacher, and we were next. We had to do something. We were smart kids. She couldn't fool us. We could tie our shoes and count by twos, and spell and write our names almost perfectly. She had picked the wrong kindergartners to mess with. Throughout the morning my friend and I crafted a brilliant plan, one so evil that the sub would have no choice but to leave and never return.

Our master plan was to empty glue bottles onto tables in the classroom.
We did it during story time. We slinkily crawled, out of sight, over to a table and emptied the glue.

When we finished, we hid under the table. Because, of course, the table would shield us from the sub's eagle vision. It was a perfect plan. It couldn't fail. 

But the sub was no fool. She saw us empty the glue and then hide under the table. She had shattered the invisibility shield. 

But we were stubborn.

She gave us the evil eye, and we wilted. We were sent to the office and notes were sent home. Phone calls were made. My career as an elementary school trouble maker had begun

She never did come back. We achieved that much. 

I Have A Blog!

I have a blog! It is official. But wait, you already know that if you're reading this. Wow, you must be cool. So you've seen my blog, now get others to see my blog! Spread the word! Tell your friends! Tell people who aren't your friends! Tell your mom, your dad, your brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews nieces, tell everybody! I have a blog! Even tell random strangers. I will give an example below:

You: Yo, stranger! This guy Evan has a blog and its totally cool.

Them: Wow, thats way cool! Now tell me, where can I find this blog?

You: Well thats easy! just go to writeandstuff.blogspot.com and start reading!

Them: Thanks! I am going to drop everything I am doing now to go check out this totally rad blog you speak of

Pretty easy, right? Maybe I'll get famous! Probably not but there isn't even a hope if you don't spread the word!

To those of you planning on spreading the word, thanks you're awesome. To those of you not planning to, you are less awesome and should change your mind.